The adoption process includes a lot of elements and factors. If you’re a birthmother who has chosen their adoptive family for the baby, then one of the key elements you will want to establish is proper communication. If you seek an open adoption with contact and shared information, then communication is important to maintain a healthy relationship.
Not only do you want positive communication, but you want to communicate how to establish the right communication for everyone involved. Every situation is different, so take some time to consider your options to decide the best way to move forward.
Instead of specific demands, you can establish an open dialogue with adoptive families about the options and come to a proper decision. Nothing is set in stone either and you always have the option to transition to different forms of communication in the future if needed.
1. Family Sharing Rules & Social Media Groups
One of the biggest considerations in the modern world is social media and what you may wish to share with the world. Open up communications about how both sides will share information on social media and the ways information will come out. For example, you may not want an adoptive family to share details about your decision to adopt or where the baby came from.
On the other side, an adoptive family may send you pictures but not want those pictures or details shared across social media platforms. The last thing you want is to have someone post something and create an issue when another side is blindsided.
The various social media apps change over time, but the basic sharing rules will still apply to most forms of social media.
In some cases, social media may become the best way to share information between both families. You have the option to create a private social media group and only let a certain amount of people into the group. Consider the addition of the birth father, both parents of the adoptive family, and close family members.
Through the social media group, people can post pictures, share stories, and easily communicate when needed. The group keeps everything organized and gives you a chance to look back on the timeline whenever you want.
2. Personal P.O. Box
If you want to keep exchanges off social media, then consider a personal P.O. Box for the adoptive family. An adoptive family may not want to give out their exact address, but a personal P.O. Box can provide a way for you to send mail on a regular basis. Use the P.O. Box to send out cards on holidays or presents for specific events.
The adoptive family can check the box periodically and mail stuff back when needed. If your living situation changes frequently, then you may want to establish a P.O. Box as well. The box gives you a consistent address so you do not miss out on any mail or packages. As the child grows older, the letters and mail you receive will feel more special.
You may see the child’s drawings, handwriting, and have special keepsakes you can keep for years in the future.
3. Picture Exchanges
Whether it’s through a P.O. Box or online, you will want to establish a way to exchange pictures with the adoptive family. As your child grows, their looks will change frequently. Come to an agreement with an adoptive family about how many times a year you would like to receive pictures on a minimum basis.
In some cases, picture exchanges are some of the main forms of communication and one of the essential ways to see how the child is doing with their adoptive family.
4. Scheduled Calls
If the open adoption agreement goes beyond just pictures, then you should schedule specific times for calls so the communication doesn’t go by the wayside. Scheduled calls will ensure you maintain communication and are one of the easiest ways to keep everyone up to date.
An agreement between yourself and the adoptive family regarding when to call is crucial. As a birthmother, you can agree to schedule calls on specific days. One of the easiest days is the child’s birthday. You could also schedule calls for specific holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas.
You could also establish the type of call. Consider the use of video calls and how many of the yearly calls will involve video calls. You can also leave options open for different types of communication in the future. For example, online games may offer a chance to connect with the child and the adoptive family.
Get help meeting with counselors and set up all forms of communication through our services at Arizona Adoption Help. Our professionals will help guide you through the whole process and find ways to establish proper communication with everyone involved.