When you first find out you are pregnant when you are not yet ready to be a parent, you face a lot of emotions, decisions, and uncertainty. Many mothers who are considering adoption as an option for their growing baby can struggle during pregnancy, wondering if adoption is really the right thing to choose.
Choosing adoption is not easy, and feelings of uncertainty are normal for many women. If you need reassurance that adoption is right for you, here are some ways you can help feel more secure in your choice.
1. Meet Often With the Adoptive Parents
You get the opportunity, if you want, to choose the family your baby goes to. You can spend time with the parents you pick to raise the baby. If you need more reassurance that adoption is a good decision, ask to spend even more time with the family. You will see more about the life your child will take part in, which can be a big comfort to you.
2. Seek Counseling
Adoption agencies that help connect birth moms with adoptive families often help the birth mom find other resources. You have help for your physical needs, including health care and living expenses, but you also need to take care of your emotional and mental health during this process.
You might not feel like seeing a counselor at first, but the first appointment is always the hardest. Pregnancy counseling is a safe place for you to express your worries and concerns about the future without fear of judgment. You will not lose any rights or privileges as a birth parent by confiding in a counselor.
Mental health counseling is confidential, so you can trust that what you talk about during sessions will stay between you and the mental health professional.
3. Revisit the Adoption Terms You Want for Your Baby
Did you talk to the adoption agency about what kind of adoption you want? Some birth moms, at first, think they want a closed adoption. Maybe you felt it would be easier to have a fresh start, or maybe you felt it would be less painful for you and your child if you could both just move on.
However, if your initial preferences change throughout your pregnancy, don’t be afraid to speak up. Maybe after meeting with prospective families, you start to hope for a more open arrangement, even if it is just semi-open.
On the flip side, you might move from wanting an open adoption to a closed adoption. Nothing is set in stone until the adoption is finalized, so if you need to revisit your initial approach to adoption, talk to a representative at your agency.
4. Seek Support From Family and Friends
New moms find it helpful to have support for their decisions from family and friends. If you have a lot of people in your life who are not supportive of your decision to place your baby for adoption, you might try to find some others who are more receptive to the choices you make for yourself.
One area you can find support is from other birth parents. You could attend group counseling sessions together and share your experiences. These people go through the same fears and insecurities that you yourself feel. You can gain insight and feel more secure knowing you are not alone in your feelings.
5. Pursue New Opportunities
Finally, use the time during your pregnancy to try some new things. If you want to know you are making the right choice, start opening doors for yourself that will allow you to move forward.
You might, for example, decide to take a class at a local community college. You might even find an online course so you can be flexible with the needs of your pregnancy.
The extra time spent on self-development can give you clarity about what you want for your future.
If you have any questions about your pregnancy or adoption, contact us at Arizona Adoption Help.