As a birthmother who chooses adoption for a baby, you may often involve the presence of the birthfather. If a birthfather supports the adoption, then you can work together to help the transition go smoothly and adjust once the adoption takes place.
Even though the birthfather is not carrying the baby, the man may go through a lot of emotions and want to stay involved. Learn ways to help a birthfather remain involved and help you along through the adoption process.
- Adoptive Consent Paperwork
If the birthfather is an active part of your life and agrees to the adoption, then he can help move the process along with adoptive consent paperwork. The paperwork is essentially the same forms a birthmother fills out and is an agreement to the adoption.
Adoptions can hit many snags along the way, so having the birthfather onboard and supportive will help elements of the adoption go smoothly. Adoption services can go over the paperwork and supply the birthfather with all the proper details and information pertaining to parental rights and information.
- Shelter & Support
As a birthmother, adoption services may provide you with shelter through the pregnancy. Often, a birthfather can move in with you to provide support during the pregnancy. He can help prep meals, take care of you, and provide emotional support through the whole nine months. The shelter provided gives a birthfather a chance to save money for future needs as well.
For example, if he is working, then the money can go towards a future down payment on a house or apartment. If he is not working, then he could use the time to try and find a job or further his education through college courses and classes.
- Family Selection
During the adoption process, you have the option to select a family if you choose. The birthfather can become a part of the process, going through family portfolios, examining pictures, and reading letters from the potential adoptive parents. The birthfather can provide extra insight and help in the decision-making process.
As the birthmother, the final selection is up to you, but having the birthfather’s input could offer new perspectives on the families you look at. Going through the process together is one of the main decisions you can make as birthparents and will help set up a future for the baby.
- Adoptive Family Communication
Once a family is selected, you have the option to communicate with them before the birth. And you can communicate over the phone, through a video chat, or in person if you choose. If you are choosing an open adoption, then the family communication is an essential part of building a relationship before the baby arrives.
Involving the birthfather will help establish a stronger connection and ensure he feels like part of the process. You can go on video calls together or try to arrange a separate call for the birthfather if needed. By being involved in the initial meetings, it will be easier to send letters and communicate through phone calls in the future.
The birthfather will feel included in the process and establish his own relationship with the adoptive family so he doesn’t feel left out.
- Birthing Plan
Planning the birth of your child can come with a lot of emotions and unexpected moments. While plans should be open and flexible, you should still prepare yourself with options so you can have your wants and needs met. For example, you may want to hold the baby for a few hours after the child is born or immediately allow the adoptive family to hold the baby.
The birthfather may be involved with the plan as well. For example, if you do not want to hold the baby, but you’re okay with the birthfather holding the baby, then you can arrange for a separate area where the birthfather can go to hold the child.
Also consider other options for the birth. For example, the birthfather may also choose to cut the umbilical cord once the baby is born. When you discuss and plan out the moments ahead of time, you will prevent any impulsive decisions during the birth.
- Couple’s Counseling
An adoption and birth involves a lot of emotions. As a birthmother, you are granted access to counseling services to help go through your emotions and manage them. You also have the opportunity to request couple’s counseling. The counseling sessions will help a couple cope with adoption and how to support each other after the birth.
A counseling session can go deep into the feelings of each person. Even if you are not together with the birthfather, a counseling session can provide ways to bring up issues and openly communicate with the birthfather. A birthfather can also receive help and guidance through any pain or mixed emotions they go through.
For more information on our adoption services, contact us at Arizona Adoption Help. We will provide several services and guide you through each step of the process.
