How to Talk to Your Parents About Pregnancy and Adoption

How to Talk to Your Parents About Pregnancy and Adoption

Are you a pregnant teen? An unexpected pregnancy is challenging — especially during the teen years. If you’re not sure how to talk to your parents about your pregnancy, take a look at what you need to know about this complex conversation.


Relax Before Your Start to Talk


Even though starting this conversation isn’t always easy, tension and excess anxiety won’t help anyone. Anxiety, stress, and fear can cloud your head and make the upcoming discussion more difficult than necessary.


Keep in mind, anxiety is a normal stress reaction to this challenging situation. No one expects you to act completely calm and cool right now. But that doesn’t mean you can’t take simple steps to relax before the conversation. To relax and calm your nerves before this deep discussion:


  • Journal your feelings. Write what’s on your mind. Don’t worry about correct spelling or grammar; instead, focus on your emotions right now. This writing activity will help you to release your sadness, aggression, or anxiety and better understand what you truly feel inside.
  • Breathe deeply. Breathe slowly and deeply, counting to three as you inhale and three as you exhale. Not only can this strategy help you to relax before your discussion, but it can also help during the conversation too.
  • Go for a walk. Take a walk in the local park or around the block. The physical activity and natural surroundings can help to reduce anxiety.


Along with these steps, visualize the conversation. While you can’t predict exactly how your parents will react, you can prepare yourself. Imagine what you’ll say — or write down your thoughts list-style. This can help you to guide the conversation and answer any questions your parents may have.


Start the Conversation


Now is time to talk. After you relax and reduce your pre-conversation anxiety, you need to open up and share your unexpected pregnancy with your parents. How should you start the discussion? What words should you use? How will your parents react? These and other similar questions may constantly run through your mind.


Again, you are normal to feel anxious or uncertain about this upcoming conversation. If you’re not sure where to start:


  • Say it simply. Your parents likely know something is up. Instead of a long-winded speech, use the simplest explanation possible. Something such as I’m pregnant or It’s not easy to say, but I’m pregnant can start this deep discussion.
  • Wait for your parents to respond. Your parents likely don’t know how to react. If they don’t say anything right away, give them space.
  • Expect an emotional reaction. After your parents get over the initial shock, their emotions may take over. Expect emotional reactions such as yelling or crying. Even though you don’t want to hear your parents yell or see them cry, they’ll need to process this information in their own way.
  • Express your feelings. Are you scared? Sad? Anxious? All these, and other, feelings are normal right now. Help your parents to help you and express how you feel inside.
  • Listen. Listen to what your parents say and how they say it. While some parents may react in an angry or emotional way, others may have guidance or wise words.


If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your parents alone, ask for help. A close friend or other family member can act as an emotional support.


Have a Plan


What is your next step? Your parents will want to know what decisions you’ve made and how you plan to proceed with your pregnancy. If adoption is the right choice for you, talk to your parents about:


  • Your reason for this choice. Why did you choose adoption for your baby? Clearly explain your thought process and why this is the right decision for you.
  • The process. If you’ve already reached out to an adoption attorney, give your parents the details.
  • The next step. Your parents will want to know what’s next and what you expect from them.


An adoption counselor can help you with this part of the parent conversation or provide additional guidance on the process.


Is adoption your chosen option? Contact Arizona Adoption Help for more information.