Many pregnant women decide that adoption is the best choice for them and their baby, but that doesn’t mean that the choice is an easy one in any way. Every imaginable emotion is sure to come up during the pregnancy, and that’s okay. With all the rituals that exist for a new baby and the adoptive parents, birth mothers may want to create a few rituals of their own.
One meaningful and healing ritual you may choose to try is writing a letter to your baby. When writing a letter to a child you plan to place for adoption, ask yourself these questions to help you identify the things that you most need to communicate to the child.
Why Are You Writing the Letter?
Before you start the letter-writing process, be clear on why you are writing the letter. Also be clear on who it is for. If you just want to write the letter as an exercise for yourself, that’s okay. However, discern that before writing the letter. If you are the only audience it will have, that may free you to delve into issues you would have avoided if you were writing for the baby.
How Do You Know You Will Love the Baby?
Many expecting parents are eager to meet their baby, and they passionately profess love for the child they have never met. It’s a natural reaction to the process of conceiving and giving birth to a child. However, when you write to your baby, consider why you know that you will love him or her. It’s okay if you don’t feel that love. However, if you do, dig deep and uncover your reasons.
As you write the letter, talk about your affection for the baby whenever you feel the need. Be as specific as possible so that the child understands your point of view. Try to avoid placing any expectations on the child. Instead of speaking about things you imagine loving about their older self, concentrate on only writing about the known things you already love about the baby.
What Do You Wish for the Child?
When you think of the things that you most want for the child, what comes to mind? Share your thoughts on your deepest desires for the child in the letter. When you imagine your child’s ideal future, are they rich or fulfilled in other ways? If the child reads your letter as an adolescent or adult, they may be surprised at how different their future is from what you imagined.
What Are Your Top 3 Reasons for Choosing Adoption?
Some women instinctively know that adoption is the best route for them. However, many others second-guess themselves at first until they solidify the reasons they truly want to pursue adoption. Narrowing your top reasons for the adoption down to three will help you see more clearly what drew you to adoption.
Once you identify the driving factors for the adoption, write about why each reason is so important to you. Include details in the letter. If the baby receives the letter when they are an older child or even an adult, learning why you made the tough choice you did can bring them a lot of solace and offer the chance for them to sympathize with the difficult choices you made for them.
What Are the Most Important Things to You?
Whether your child is a kid or an adult when they eventually receive and read your letter, the one thing they may be dying to know is what you are like. Share some things about yourself in the letter. Communicate about the things that matter the most to you in the world. Perhaps even discuss how you hope that you can share these special things with the child someday.
Writing a letter to the baby can help you feel truly ready for the adoption. If you are considering adoption for your baby, contact Arizona Adoption Help today. We are committed to helping birthmothers, and we will be happy to provide you with all the objective information you need to make an informed decision about your future.