3 Choices You Have Control Over as a Birth Mother

Unplanned pregnancies can be devastating. If you find yourself pregnant with a child that you are not emotionally or financially prepared to care for, then adoption could provide a viable solution to help you give your child the best life possible.


Historically, adoption was an option that didn’t leave the birth mother with much control. Babies were taken from unwed or underage mothers, and these children were placed with families that the birth mother had never met or had contact with. In the past, adoption often created feelings of sadness, guilt, and remorse.


Adoption today is very different from how it was in the past. As a birth mother, you will have control over some very important aspects of your child’s life. Learn more about the three major ways you can retain control while navigating the adoption process.


1. The Adoptive Parents
When you make the decision to begin the adoption process, you are not giving your baby up. You are giving your baby the family that you view as ideal so that he or she can grow happy and healthy with all his or her needs met.


Prospective adoptive parents generate profiles that provide birth mothers with a glimpse into their lives. You will be able to review as many profiles as you like to find the right family for your child. The religious beliefs, parenting style, and family dynamic your child will be exposed to are all within your control as you select an adoptive family.


You are always in control of where your child will end up, and you can change your mind about an adoptive family at any time before the adoption itself is legally finalized.


2. The Level of Contact
Birth mothers now have the ability to control the level of contact they will have with their child after placing him or her for adoption. You may be comfortable seeing your child with his or her new family on a regular basis, or you may choose to just receive photographs from and exchange letters with your child instead. Since you are in control, the decision is yours.


Open adoptions are becoming increasingly more popular as the benefits of these adoption arrangements become more apparent. With an open adoption, you can watch your child grow. This allows you to see that you made the right decision in choosing adoption for your child.


Your baby will be able to experience a connection with his or her biological family through an open adoption. This allows your baby to grow up feeling secure in the fact that adoption was chosen to give him or her a better life, not because he or she was not wanted.


3. Your Hospital Experience
The birthing process can be beautiful, emotional, and heartbreaking for a birth mother. It’s important that you realize you are in complete control when it comes to your hospital experience during birth.


You have the final say in deciding who will attend the birth in the delivery room, who will cut the umbilical cord, and whether or not you spend some time alone with your child once labor and delivery are complete.


Many birth mothers opt to include adoptive parents in the hospital experience, but you are not required to have the adoptive parents with you if you want to reserve the memories of your delivery for yourself.


Knowing that you can retain control throughout the adoption process can make it a little less daunting to think about placing your child with an adoptive family. Contact Arizona Adoption Help for more information on adoptions and your role in the adoption process.