Tucson, AZ My name is Leslie and I am a mother. Some would call me a birthmom, but I know there is nothing that separates the love I feel for my child than the love any mother feels for their child. The difference is how I chose to show that love. I knew I couldn’t provide my baby girl with the opportunities in life she deserves. I wanted her to grow up comfortable and safe in her home. I wanted her to have experiences that I couldn’t give her, to travel and to go to good schools. Most of all I wanted her to have a stable family.
The moment I found out I was pregnant will stick with me forever. I had a feeling something was happening but I was afraid to take the test. For four days, I kept the test in a drawer in my room unopened, knowing it would change my life forever. When I saw the positive sign, my heart sank and I knew I would never be the same. The decision to adopt was something I came to terms with over the next few weeks. I was in no place to raise a child. I couldn’t give my child the life she deserved.
I met Chandra and Glen through Arizona Adoption Help and immediately it became clear that these two people could provide my child with everything I could not. They already started their family with one child through adoption and shared pictures of their daughter and home life. Even though Chandra and Glen had been through this process before, they never expected my journey to look anything like what they experienced before. They told me from the start that my decision to adopt was something they respected and admired, they would be there for me in whatever way I needed, but never wanted me to feel like I had to go through this their way. Sometimes I didn’t feel like communicating the hurt I felt during my pregnancy. But their silent support got me through those tough times. I never told them how much it meant to me that they were thinking and planning for this child as much as I was.
Some people may not understand my decision to give my child a life and a family apart from me. Before I went through this, I never imagined the journey of my first child would look this way. But now having gone through it, I’m at peace with my decision. I know my family doesn’t look like the typical family. My daughter has two mothers, one that loves her so much that she brought another mother into her life to take care of her. We stay in touch with pictures and letters because I always want her to know that my love will never go away or change. She will forever be my daughter.
Peace and love, Leslie
Tucson, AZ | December 2014
