A woman never forgets a child she gave birth to, even if the circumstances prevented her from raising the
child. You may decide to stay in contact or not, but you can do some special things throughout your life to
keep the child close to your heart. Your child will appreciate the effort of you, the birth parent, to give
them these practical and emotional gifts.
Keep Genealogical Records
Write a complete family history and continue to make updates as the family tree grows. Add more than just
names and birth dates whenever possible. Include a photo of the person or tell a funny story or an
interesting fact about them. Add anything that will help to bring the personality of the individual to life.
If a relationship continues with the birth father, ask him to do the same with his family tree. Make notes
of what you do know if the father is no longer a part of your life. At least include his name, birth dates,
and any information about his childhood and family.
Write a Journal
Journaling is a wonderful way for a child to learn about who you are. Write honestly so they can
appreciate your wit, quirks, and other personality traits. The journal does not have to be great literature
or written with perfect penmanship. The journal is for your child to understand you and see all the things
you both have in common.
Begin the book with a summary of your childhood and remember to include all the best memories from your
younger years. Update the journal often with anecdotes about the people in your life, any achievements or
awards, or other information the reader of the journal would find interesting.
If you continue to keep contact with the adoptive family, add details about conversations or visits in the
journal to help your child to remember those moments. Save any correspondence from the adoptive parents. Your
child will appreciate the love and effort their adoptive parents gave to you, their birth mother.
Inform Future Children
Many birth mothers eventually have other children and settle into family life. Some even have an
established family when they decide to adopt out a child. If this describes you, let your children know about
the sibling who lives elsewhere. The complexity of the situation may make the topic inappropriate until your
children become mature enough to understand the situation.
In open adoptions, children often grow up with an awareness of their additional sibling, so this may not
be an issue for the family. However, when people are unaware of the situation until an adopted child seeks
out biological family members, this can be awkward or upsetting for everyone. Make your best judgment on when
to inform your children of their additional sibling.
Update Medical Records
Keep a medical record of yourself and your family after the adoption. If the child has any questions about
their genetics or what their own children may be at risk of, the records will provide reliable answers.
Medical histories are a part of the paperwork during an adoption, but new conditions arise, and people learn
more information over the years, so new medical records are key.
Have a Keepsake
Set aside something special from your family or yourself for the child to inherit. Give this keepsake to
them at a milestone like a graduation or wedding or remember them in a will. The item gives them a connection
to their birth family and allows them to connect you and your ancestors to their own children as they pass
the item down years later.
Birth mothers have many ways to show their love. One of the best is to work with an organization that
understands the importance of matching the right adoptive parents with each birth mother. At Arizona Adoption Help, we assist birth mothers through this delicate
process to ensure everyone has the experience they deserve. Contact us to learn more.
