Many birth mothers have questions about the adoptive parents their child will have. A birth mother might wonder what the parents will say when the child asks about their mother or what type of life the baby will have in their care. The answers to these questions come easily when a birth mother decides to have an open adoption.
Birth Mothers Have Rights
The decision to have an open adoption belongs to the birth mother. She has the legal right to select the parents that agree to her choice of an open or closed adoption. A very large percentage of the adoptions completed today are open adoptions. Not every woman wants to stay actively involved in the life of a birth child, but all will need to make a choice.
Open Adoptions Can Vary
All birth mothers must share their health history with the adoptive parents. Any information shared beyond health history will technically make the adoption an open adoption. The level of openness can include only sharing names for future reference for the child, or this could mean an open relationship with pictures, shared holidays, or more.
Open Adoptions Have Benefits
Birth mothers have more control during an open adoption because they can get to know the adoptive parents personally. A birth mother can stay in touch with the family, watch the child grow, and spend time with the child to build a special relationship. The birth mother can also talk more openly with her friends and family about the child and share in successes and milestones.
Adoptive parents have resources available to learn about the cultural heritage of their child and any traditions or languages that would enrich the life of the baby they adopt. The parents can also contact the birth mother to discuss more deeply the health history of the family if any medical concern arises.
A child in an open adoption knows they have love from all sides of their family. The baby grows up with their questions answered so they never have to wonder why their birth mother made the choice of adoption. When the adopted child becomes an adult, finding and meeting their extended family will become easier, if that has not happened already.
Changes Can Take Place
An open relationship with the adoptive family can seem like a great idea to a birth mother but become too difficult for them after the delivery. No one can really know how they will feel about something so emotional and personal until after it happens. Making changes after the baby arrives is possible.
Birth mothers can ask the parents to not send cards or photographs and to keep her name and personal details private until the child is an adult. Any birth mother who struggles to decide if they want an open adoption should ask that any agreement include the right for her to restrict contact after a few months if needed.
Adoption Agencies Can Help
All birth mothers should consider working with an adoption agency rather than undertaking a private adoption. Agencies can introduce the birth mother to a variety of couples, so finding adoptive parents who share the same opinions about raising children or open adoptions will be easier to do.
Agencies can also help birth mothers to maneuver the complex process of adoption and to find any resources they may need. Their efforts make the experience more comfortable and reassuring.
Birth mothers do not have an obligation to agree to an open adoption. Neither choice is right or wrong, and every experience is different. Birth mothers must make the decision that is best for their situation. At Arizona Adoption Help, we represent only birth mothers. Contact us today if you think adoption is the best option for you.